Jasmine

Jasmine
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The pain hits me like a thunderbolt
And shatters my heart
Into a million pieces
All over again...

When I spot an empty plastic bottle on the roadside, I remember her unfettered joy when she bites into it with a satisfying crunch

Making dosas in the morning, she is an invisible presence at my feet

Opening the door into the house, her tail thumps against the wall

On a cold winter night her warm body is stretched out against mine

With every crinkle of a biscuit packet, her warm honey eyes look up at me

7:30am, and she is at my side waiting for her walk

Sweets, ice-cream, cake batter,
Morning pujas, neighborhood dogs,
The doorbell, puddles on the road,
Empty sofas, car journeys,
Her old toys, birthdays...

So this is grief.
It strikes me hard when I least expect it
As if to remind me that it is a constant companion
(At least for a while, so they say)
When my world is somewhat whole,
When I have, for a little while,
Forgotten her warm, joyous, loving, gentle, gorgeous self
The grief rears up and tears into me
And for a while I revel in it
And then I pick up the pieces and move on...

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